Hogwarts, An Abstract History
by LaraIsWrite
Summary: We all know that book Hermione notoriously flapped around in everyone's faces, right? You know the one... Hogwarts A History. Well this is a different view at Hogwarts' history. It comes from the lives of the students. Everything from classroom mishaps, chilling experiences, mischief making, and even tales of love and deceit. Herein lies a history of Hogwarts you'll never forget!


**_I hope you all enjoy my short stories! Mostly they serve to put to use the plot bunnies that have been trying to get into my other fic in the worst possible places. I mean, really, I never thought I'd have a ill wish on an imaginary bunny but here I am thinking up ways to execute them all. Bwahaha! =p So as you'll see below, I'll be listing each chapter's main character(s) and the genre. This way if you're looking for something particular, you'll only need to read the first couple lines of the chapter. Review if you'd like! This is my first time uploading any of my stories onto any website and it would be nice to hear what people other than my family and friends think. Hope you enjoy!_**

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**Main Characters: Fred and George Weasley**

**Genre: Humor**

_Please note: I do not own any of these characters or settings... I wish I did. It'd be nice to have Fred and George all to myself but, alas, J.K. Rowling holds all the cards there. Haha._

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Tension was thick in the air as Fred and George Weasley tip toed down the dark, dank corridors of Hogwarts' dungeons. It was their first day back, the quickly approaching morning marking the beginning of their fourth year. The twins knew attempting to pull off any mischief on the eve of the new term was risky- Filch was always at his most alert then- but that was precisely what made it the perfect time. This prank was going to go down in Hogwarts history for sure. They had spent all summer concocting the perfect spell to unleash on the perfect person. Unfortunately, due to their inability to practice magic outside of school, the boys hadn't actually had a chance to try the spell out yet. It was lucky that their brothers Bill and Charlie were always happy to assist in their merriment.

George had to stifle a laugh as they turned down the final corridor that led to their unsuspecting victim. Fred pulled out an old piece of parchment from his sleeve and opened it, his twin peering anxiously over his shoulder. On the parchment was a map of all of Hogwarts, tiny little footprints marking the movements of the few people awake at this hour and dots for everyone else. Each footprint and dot was marked with a name. Filch and Mrs. Norris were on the second floor, patrolling the corridor surreptitiously. Their own position was marked in the hallway just outside of one Professor Snape's living quarters, with Snape unmoving in his bedroom. The boys brown eyes met, a mixture of apprehension and excitement dancing wildly about in them. Stowing the map away, Fred raised his hand and silently counted- one…. two…. three.

The potions master's door creaked only slightly as George opened it with agonizing patience. Once they were in, they just as quietly moved it back, leaving it ajar barely an inch for a more smooth escape. It was nearly pitch black in the room but the twins had expected nothing less from the most disgruntled teacher in the world. They tip toed across the main room to the far right corner, silently slipping out their wands in the process. Now standing before the final door between them and their victim, Fred stepped aside into the shadowed corner and George began to slowly open the door. The hiding twin pulled out his map, his excited nerves urging him to make sure it was all clear. Then, just as Fred's eyes widened in horror at what he saw, the door suddenly swing open and George found himself caught in the furious glare of Severus Snape.

Seeing that the professor was only aware of George's presence, the other red head flicked his wand at him saying, "Rutilus Saeta Maculosus!" A jet of red sparks flew into the shocked man's face, causing him to step back in defense.

Not missing a beat, George pointed his wand directly at the professor and, with a look of deep concentration, muttered "Obliviate!" The memory charm hit Snape square in the chest, causing him to falter backwards a few more steps. Satisfied with the look of confusion on his face, the twins quickly snuck out into the corridor, shutting the door behind them.

A sigh of relief escape their lips but Fred's was cut short as he noticed Mrs. Norris had wandered down to the dungeons and was just about to turn the corner that would reveal them. He grabbed the collar of his brother's robes and quickly darted across the hall where they dove behind a gargoyle statue placed in an arch in the wall. There the two crouched, breathlessly waiting for the danger to clear. It was too dark to even try to read their map in their cramped hiding space so they simply stared out into the hallway, hearts pounding in their throats. After a couple of minutes the old cat came into view. She moved languidly along, as cats often due when on the prowl, looking left and right and even up with every couple steps. She paused in front of Snape's door, smelling curiously around it. George closed his eyes tight, not daring to breath. This was it. All their careful planning and practice, undone by a mangy cat.

Just then, the professor's door swung open, casting a very dim light into the corridor. The twins' eyes widened in horror and they huddled closer together, trying desperately to stay hidden. Mrs. Norris meowed inquiringly up at the man. Snape looked down on her in disgust then swept the corridor with a suspicious glare, though he appeared to be listening more than anything. Several minutes went slowly by in this fashion, with Mrs. Norris continuing to meow at the man. Snape's head cocked suddenly at the sound of shuffling feet. An evil grin spread across his features as he slipped his wand delicately out of his sleeve. His look of triumph grew as the sound got closer and closer.

"What's that you see, my sweet?"

Triumph turned to disappointment as the professor recognized the voice of Argus Filch. He stowed his wand away and seconds later the squib was standing before him, a look of confusion in his face. "Seen anything suspicious tonight, Filch?" the professor asked impatiently.

"No, sir. All's quiet- for now." He paused, glancing warily up and down the hall. "Students always try to pull something off the night before term starts. Last year I caught a bunch of 'em sneakin' about. I don't s'pect this year to be any different."

Snape nodded. "Right. Keep on watching then. And if you do happen to find anyone, inform me immediately." The old caretaker agreed dutifully and he and his cat reassumed their prowling back towards the main floor. "Must have been dreaming," the professor muttered as they turned the corner, frustration clear in his tone. He then retreated back into his quarters, shutting the door vehemently behind him.

Fred and George both let out the breath they had been apprehensively holding. They stayed in their hiding spot for several more minutes, giving Filch and Mrs. Norris time to put some distance between them, before setting out on their return journey. It all went very smoothly, thanks to their knifty map. The Fat Lady was extremely put out by the late hour in which she was being disturbed. Her complaints fell on deaf ears though, as the twins had become very used to her in their three previous years of mischief making. The portrait door swung gently shut behind them, at which point the redheads finally let out the laughter they had been suppressing in hushed snorts and chuckles.

"I can't wait for breakfast!" George whispered excitedly, patting his twin on the shoulder.

"I know! This is our best prank ever. Although, I hope your memory charm didn't do anything too drastic," Fred replied. "I thought we were done for when that damn cat came skulking down."

George nodded fervently in agreement. "How's Perc doing?"

The freckled ginger whipped out the map again and scanned the Gryffindor Tower for their older brother. "Still sound asleep in his room. That's not surprising. Your sleeping potions are good enough to make Snape blush."

George snorted loudly. "Lets hope he does! A rosy tinge would go terribly with his new look!" Both boys started chortling uncontrollably at this.

"Hold on!" Fred pointed to a spot on the map in the boys' dorms. "Do you see that?"

His twin looked, his brown eyes widening in disbelief. "Who is Peter Pettigrew and why is he in bed with Ron?!" They eyed each other in shock. "Should we-"

"No… no, we should just let him be. He'll come out with it when he's ready. He did earn himself a small break with that exceptional entrance tonight..."

"Right…"

A long silence fell as they both considered this new revelation. Wheels turning rapidly in their heads, the boys' irresistible pull towards shenanigans inevitably led them astray of their initial, mature decision to leave their poor brother alone. Finally Fred smirked, an impish look of glee in his eyes. He hooked his arm around his brother's shoulder and they began to make their way up to their dorm room. "We'll let the love birds be for the night. We've got all year to torment him, after all."

The next morning, Fred and George- and all of their dorm mates- were abruptly awoken by thire very upset brother. "What did you two do to me?!" he hollered angrily, his cheeks and ears turning violently red.

The twins chuckled behind their hands, covers pulled up so that only their tired but gleeful eyes were visible. George was the first to gather his composure. Sitting up, his red hair a ruffled mess, he said innocently, "Why, Perc, what ever are you talking about?"

"This!" Percy answered, gesturing furiously at his green, scaly face with webbed hands. The red on his cheeks and ears was getting deeper and, if George wasn't mistaken, he even saw a vein throbbing fit to burst on his forehead.

"Oh!" George exclaimed in an attempt to disguise a bark of laughter.

Fred sat up quickly to draw Percy's attention away from his twin. "That's not the nighttime masque you've been applying to keep your face smooth as a baby's butt?" he inquired naively.

Percy shot a sharp glare at him, revealing the aforementioned vein to him. "No, it is not!" Percy answered haughtily as Fred covered his mouth with both hands to hide his huge grin and stifle his laughter. "I can't believe you two would do this to me on our first day back! I am a prefect, for Merlin's sake! I could have you doing detention for the rest of term for this!"

George cleared his throat in mock respect. "But, Perc, we didn't do anything to you."

"Yeah," agreed Fred. "Maybe your cream's just gone bad or something."

One of their roommates, Lee Jordan, piped up now. "Yeah, I bet it's the same stuff my mum uses! She says its notorious for going bad in higher altitudes."

The furious redhead glared at the three boys. After a moment of deep thought, the prefect said icily, "You hooligans had better not pull any shenanigans this year. As if our younger brother shaming our family name by crashing into the grounds in dad's embarrassing muggle contraption wasn't bad enough." He shuddered a little at the memory and turned a shade greener. Without waiting for reply, the boy turned on his heels and stomped out of the room.

When they heard the door click shut, all four boys burst into fits of laughter. "Merlin, boys, what did you do to your unfortunate brother?" Lee asked, wiping a tear out of the corner of his eye.

Fred answered, "Oh you know, we just modified his facial cream a little the night before he packed all of his things."

"That vein on his forehead was priceless!" George exclaimed, clutching his ribs.

"Was it meant to do that?" the other roommate inquired eagerly.

"Oh no!" George replied. "That was more than either of us could have hoped for!"

Their dorm was filled with laughter for the next ten minutes as they all got up and dressed for their first day of term. "So, any other tricks we should look out for?" Lee asked conspiratorially. "You guys sure where out for a long time last night. We thought you'd been caught for sure."

The twins laughed pompously. "Us?" Fred cried in mock-shock.

"Get caught?!" George continued in the same fashion.

Then in unison they concluded, "Don't even think it!" Avoiding their friend's question altogether, Fred and George hurried down to the Great Hall to join the rest of the school for breakfast. The boys took their seats at the Gryffindor table, cheerily greeting friends as they passed them. The crowd was still buzzing with Ron and Harry's fantastic arrival the previous night. Grinning from ear to ear, they filled their plates with eggs, bacon, kippers, and toast and began digging in, glancing anxiously up at the staff table every thirty seconds or so.

When their plates were halfway emptied, the moment they had been waiting for finally arrived. Professor Snape strode arrogantly into the room, heading straight for the staff table. As the professor walk by the twins, Fred made as if to sneeze- only that sneeze sounded an awful lot like "Rutilus!" and seemed to produce a strange cloud of red sparkles out of the closed palm of his hand. Fred, George, and Lee watched as the cloud trailed fluidly after Snape, gaining on him with each second. As the raven haired professor reached the staff table and began to make his way around it to his seat, the red cloud finally made contact and began to blanket itself over his head. The man paused for a moment, sneezed, then continued on his way- all the while, his greasy black hair was turning fiery red. Chuckles began to erupt from around the Great Hall as other students began to notice the phenomena. The professor sat down in his seat, glaring disdainfully at the students as the chuckling slowly grew louder. Fred and George laughed the loudest now. On Snape's pallid face were bright red freckles- the whole stunt making him look like a very gaunt, crooked nosed Weasley now. "See if he makes fun of us gingers this year!" George cried triumphantly.

Unfortunately, their joy was short lived. Just then, the owls decided to arrive with all the students' mail, stealing their audience's attention. Fred patted his twin reassuringly on the back. "No worries, bruv. They'll be talkin' about it all year. And it's not over yet. Snape still hasn't noticed- but the other teachers sure have!" George returned his gaze to the staff table, where all of the teachers were glancing awkwardly towards the potions master and then looking quickly away when he tried to meet their eyes. Dumbledore appeared to be staring straight at the twins, a bemused twinkle in his blue eyes.

"Nothing gets passed that man," George commented, nodding conspiratorially towards the Headmaster.

Just then, the whole room was filled with a horribly familiar shrieking. It sent chills up and down the twins' spines. Looking towards the source of the commotion, they saw a Howler floating menacingly above the heads of Ron and Harry. The two listened, cringing, as their mother verbally berated Ron for stealing their dad's car, causing them to be subject to an inquiry, and the usual drabble she prattles on about when furious with one of her sons. "Poor kid," Fred said, leaning closer so that his brother could hear him over their mother's magnified voice.

George chuckled. "Yeah," he replied, not at all sorry for Ron. In fact, there was a grin spread on his face from ear to ear. "Thank Merlin it wasn't us."

After the Howler was done screeching its message, Ron hurriedly left the Great Hall with Harry and Hermione in tow. Mere seconds after they had exited the room, a loud cry of outrage sounded from the front of the room. "Who did this?!" They directed their gaze eagerly up to the staff table. Professor Snape stood with both hands on the table in front of him, glaring vehemently at the students who still remained. "I will find out who did this and, so help me, when I do you'll find yourself hanging by your toes from the dungeon ceilings for the rest of term!" With that, the angry professor stomped hurriedly out of the room. When he had gone, the Hall broke out into tirades of laughter once again.

And so, Fred and George began their fourth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. That, of course, wouldn't be their last trick of the year- or day, for that matter.


End file.
